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The warm confession about Single mothers struggles

Single mothers’ struggles are pain draining the essence of this soft woman. Have you ever felt like since you’ve become a single mother and the world is against you? Like isn’t it ENOUGH to hold yourself up while raising kids alone, face financial issues, trying to have a balance between your life and your kid’s life while trying to be keeping sanity?

I know *hugs* I feel you believe me. Single mothers understand each other the best. I go through this everyday but guess what??!! Here I am standing and believe me you have no idea what difficulties I go through and what I face but I wanted to write this post for YOU, because I care, because I know how you feel, because I wanted someone to tell me what I wish to tell you.

Grab a cup of coffee or tea “I’m a coffee girl, obviously” and let’s have a warm chat about it.

But we need first to put that finger on the problem itself, reasons and how to deal with them.

Problems a single mother face in daily bases

Waking up clueless how many obstacles to beat

Everyone wakes up hoping for a calm pleasant fresh start in the new day. But knowing what we go through daily, we fear that we will face obstacles in this and that results in making us:

  1. Lose the will to get up
  2. Have sleepless nights
  3. Might lead to depression
  4. Ruining the mood
  5. Feel lazy

It’s alright to feel this way that’s normal. Regardless of what circumstances each one of us goes through, in the end, we understand each other.

Fearing the negative things carry for us makes us forget the positive things our day carries and here I will share some of my tips to lighten this burden and have better mornings. Mornings you deserve sugar bomb ?

The kids not willing to get up to school

You know those mornings when the kids aren’t willing to get up for school? When you are a working mommy and need to go to work but they aren’t willing to make the process easier?

Or even when you are staying at home mom, and you are tired of last night’s uncomfortable sleep, wanna just drop them at school so you can do housework and perhaps have a rest before picking them up?

Those ones are the moments that ruin my whole day. I just wanna get over the moments when I try to calm myself but end up. So, I ended up making a plan with my kids, to make them have energy when they get up, motivate them and win my morning.

What to cook? What to wear? No energy!!

The popular pain we face, what to cook? What to feed the kids? Sometimes the feeling of wanting to cook and try something new float but after that the trouble of buying the ingredients, trying it out, time-consuming …etc.

I LOVE cooking and my daughter now loves cooking, but just the exhaustion of work, and knowing the exhaustion of cooking is painful.

I will give you later my tips and how I changed this pain.

How many days left until payday? How much do you have left? 

“Where did my money go?” the famous question right? I caught you sighing with a smile lol

But yes, this happens to us all, even if we didn’t show it. The money cycle and the balance between what’s left and what’s yet to come is a normal cycle.

Trying to save is awesome but when the kids don’t understand why the parent doesn’t buy everything at the same time, this is when the shoulders feel heavy.

This guide of side hustles might help you if you need extra income

Kids needs for school

Whenever my kids ask me for money to participate in something for school or buy something for school projects or .. or…

I think sometimes “do teachers even think about us and if we actually got money to buy those stuff?”

If you’ve been there, believe me, I feel you, regardless of being a working mom I still get stuck between essentials and school stuff.

New season, new clothes

When the kids grow, buying clothes is a must for each new season. So that adds to the bills.

We can’t leave the kids without clothes and being the only financial support is overwhelming. But this process became a bit smoother for me after trying a new process these past few seasons.

I’ll show you later.

No time for self-care or private time to relax

Ever been somewhere and someone who hasn’t seen you for long pops into your face and says, “Omg you look old, different, I barely recognized you”??

Raise your hands if it happened *Raising both hands*

I really understand the feeling and then the depression with rage, and sadness start to float and fill you. Don’t worry I’m here to tell you what to do, but ofc you need to shave this person’s hair as revenge you know??

Lol kidding

How to gain money at home to support yourself and the kids?

Aha, the thing we all look for online fetching and digging in Pinterest’s ocean of posts.

I too look for something to support my job because it’s just never enough to cover all the expenses and have an emergency budget.

If you are a stay at home mom, then that’s even harder and gaining money at home is a blessing.

There are many ways which I’m going to mention in a bit.

People judge your life and they know nothing

This stabs me in the heart every time and I’m sure it does the same to you too.

It’s your life, your circumstances, your pain. Why do they think they know? Why judge?

I love my family to pieces, endlessly but many times when they enter my room “my kids stay with me in my room cause I can’t afford to live alone”

They judge the chaos; I know my room sometimes like the apes had a start war in my room but still.

I was exhausted after work, might argue with my daughter on the way back, my boss wasn’t in the mood to talk nicely, something went off ….etc

So, if my room is messy for a day or two till I’m free to make it awesome, then it’s not a big deal.

I’m sure there are other situations where you feel people shouldn’t judge you because they don’t know you, right?

I’m sorry If anything I said above was touching a painful spot but I wanted you to know that I do understand how you feel and I’m here to help you ease this struggle.

Now for the solutions I followed and helped me, I hope it helps you too and every single mother out there:

Set up daily goals the night before:

Setting my plans a day/ night before made it easier for me to stick to them so regardless of how many obstacles I face, I keep myself busy and focused on this goal.

Single Mothers Making a challenge for the kids with worth it rewards

My daughter is obsessed with Starbucks caramel frab

The easiest way to motivate her is to tell her “If you are ready early, we’ll pass by Starbucks”

Omg the dust she causes when running up hurrying, on finals I offer mc Donald’s breakfast

Of course, it’s not daily, and you can offer something else depending on your kids’ preference besides that’s costly so I don’t do it on a daily bases.

You can offer post-school activities or let them collect points every time they wake up early.

Single Mothers Meal prepare life-saving

If you try a meal prep before you’ll know it’s a life saving, also the grab and go breakfast saved my money too.

My coworkers tend to order breakfast often that drains my budget but when they see that I’m grabbing my breakfast they actually loved the idea and started doing the same.

Smoothies could be put in plastic bags in the freezer, grill chicken in the oven and put it in containers, one with pasta, one with rice, one with bread …etc.

If you can invest in the pressure pot or steam cooker, they are handy too.

Don’t stress up over food, make your life easier and your mind clearer.

Try these links to help you with ideas:

TIPS | Meal Planning

Simple Meal Planning you’ll stick with! | Minimalist Family Life (2018)

HEALTHY MOM MEAL PREP FOR A FAMILY OF 6

Single mothers Use budget tracker and make a plan

I like using the budget tracker and write down EVERYTHING I pay for, I divide the money on weeks.

Let’s say you got 1200$ a month, keep a track of spending 250$ a week = 1000$ per month

Keep the 200$ for emergencies (because they do happen)

By the time you’ll get used to the system and you’ll see yourself saving more and feel less stressed.

This also helps you when the kids need something for school.

Single mothers Buy for next season, this season.

Let’s be honest, if you bought clothes that are comfortable and you like them, wouldn’t you wear them next year too?

Normally shops do end of season sales when people these clothes anymore.

I tend to buy for my kids for next year (a size bigger than this year) and save them in the attic.

Most sales go between 70-85%

So the savings are huge.

Single mothers Need side hustle to support you? No problem lets start with what’s unnecessary

If you can read this post then you can do many other things.

You can access the internet, so you can blog, be a freelancer, you can test the product, edit books, …etc

Can you tell stories for your kids at bedtime? Then you can write stories and sell them on Amazon or online.

The old device you aren’t using? Fix it and sell it on amazon

That’s not an affiliate or anything it’s just a thought.

Single mothers Start saying NO

The reason people start judging your life is that you gave them the impression that they can, and you showed them that you can’t control your life alone.

You are overwhelmed and don’t have any more energy to argue so you just swallow it and be sad.

Start saying no, it’s your right, you don’t have to be rude.

The first time I said no and drew a line for people to not cross, it felt as if I broke free from chains.

You are your own savior.

I’m sure you’ve got plenty in mind please shoot me with what you feel or whatever overwhelms you. We can talk about it and find a way to ease it.

Always remember you deserve to be happy, you are strong and beautiful.